


Trick or Treat! (or just argue)

by chekovthechosen



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2018-02-28 10:23:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2728829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chekovthechosen/pseuds/chekovthechosen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some nations get together for a Couples Halloween event and literally all of them have fun by making fun /of/ each other but like in a loving way bcos I'm a terrible person don't worry they all enjoy themselves</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trick or Treat! (or just argue)

**Author's Note:**

> Yup, a lot of this descended into chaos since China and Hong Kong get along with each other in their own special way, as do England and Scotland. Sibling rivalry much? Anyway, this is a gift for Emma for the APH rarepair exchange :))) sorry for the horrible writing, I'm mega untalented but I hope you like it! 
> 
> PS: I'm your secret Santa (as if that wasn't obvious enough... I'm such a ditz)

“And that’s about it finished.” Prussia declared, taking a step backwards to admire his handiwork. “You look just like a real ghost!”

 

“Seriously?” Italy asked enthusiastically. “Thank you!”

 

“Well, of course you do.” He continued, “You had me as your awesome makeup artist.”

 

“You’re right.” Italy giggled, taking his hand. “Are you ready to go?”

 

“Yup.” Gilbert jerked his head in a nod. “I’m so freaking pumped! I’m going to be the hottest quarterback at the party, I swear.”

 

“If you say so.” He smiled. “I’m sure you will be, anyways.”

 

“You betcha.” His boyfriend clicked his tongue mischievously and led him out of the room. “Come on, everyone’s waiting for you, babe.”

 

Italy followed him down the stairs, giddy happiness fluttering in his heart like a million butterflies trying to break free. If anything, it seemed as if they could only ever be dispelled when he said how much he loved Gilbert, the words curling affectionately into the air with warmth and value. Still, he tried to shake it off and calm himself down, tightening his grip on Prussia’s hand ever so slightly.

 

Entering the room with a spring in his step, he called out, “Welcome everyone! Happy Halloween.”

 

A chorus of thanks and returns of the same phrase resounded across the room, with people lifting their glasses in a ‘cheers’ kind of gesture. Apparently most people were busy, so the turnout was pretty small, but it didn’t bother Italy too much. While he wished more people had arrived, this was fine as well. Besides, most of the countries claiming that they were busy simply just didn’t have a date – the invitations said to come in a pair – and were far too embarrassed to admit it.

 

“Happy Halloween!” China shouted happily, waving his long sleeves around feverishly. “Hey, Italy, guess what I am!”

 

“Um… a cat? It’s a cat, isn’t it?”

 

“No!” Wang Yao huffed angrily. “I’m Hello Kitty.”

 

“Ey, Hello Kitty _is_ a freaking cat.” Hong Kong rolled his eyes in an apathetic sort of annoyance, looking bizarre in a Cup Noodle cheongsam complete with a hat that appeared to be the lid. “Old man.”

 

“Disrespectful child, no filial piety.” He turned away and muttered under his breath “吃粪。Hello Kitty is actually a human girl. Don’t you know anything?”

 

“Like I can take that from an _old man_ who came here with two people.” The younger nation furrowed his brow into a scowl, leaning back into Macau’s arms. “Right?”

 

“I will admit that 大哥 is being a bit crude, but nonetheless, you shouldn’t be so lax in behaviour.” Macau smiled a strained smile. “He is older than you, please be more cautious with your speech.”

 

“You’re just jealous that I’m more popular, Hong Kong.” China grinned coyly. “I didn’t ask them, they both wanted to come with me and I didn’t give a proper answer.”

 

“Just choose one, you mainland locust!” Hong Kong squinted at him, peeved.

 

“You British dog,” China groaned. “Whatever happened to the Chinese way of things? Obviously I’m picking the more successful one. You tell me which of these countries is better off.”

 

“England.” Hong Kong said plainly. “America is struggling right now, and he has some very bad relations in the world as of this moment.”

 

“Exactly.” China agreed. “I’ll come back to him when it suits me.”

 

“Excuse me?” England raised an eyebrow. “Are we a source of cash for you?”

 

“Hm? No, no.” He assured him. “Absolutely not. I was just joking. You don’t trust me?”

 

“I do.” He sighed.

 

“Aye, cause you're a nugget.” Scotland spoke up from his corner of the room where he had his arm slung around Canada, the two of them matching apparitions of bagged milk and a bottle of Irn Bru. “Go sit at the nugget table, ya gormless eejit.”

 

“Excuse me?” England yelled. “For someone who likes insulting me so much, you must enjoy my company awfully much to vote against your own independence.”

 

“Mate, mate,” Scotland said gently, shaking his head. “Shut yer gob.”

 

Italy stood there, helpless, as the two of them began to argue, albeit in a brotherly fashion, along with Hong Kong and China disparaging each other over some form of dispute that happened a few years earlier.

 

“What did you expect?” Prussia laughed. “Look, they’re all having fun in their own way.”

 

“I know.” Italy smiled. “I want to intervene, but I understand, I guess. Romano gets irritated by me all the time, but it’s never serious then either.”

 

“Forget about that, darling, this party rocks.” Gilbert leant down and briefly pressed his lips to Feliciano’s. “Well done. To be honest, I’m surprised you actually picked up on the subtext for once.”

 

“Thank you.” He giggled, flushing a deep scarlet. “Hehe, well, I actually just didn’t want to get between an argument and get in trouble.”

 

“You’re so cute, you scoundrel. And you even said you wanted to help.” Prussia stroked his cheek gently.

 

“I do! I don’t want to see them upset, but I’m too scared.” Italy fretted a bit.

 

“It’s fine. None of them mean it, except maybe Hong Kong.” Prussia chuckled. “He’s got some dead eyes on him.”

 

“Where?” Italy panicked suddenly. “I don’t see any!”

 

It took a moment for the realisation to dawn on him, but when it did, Gilbert broke into peals of laughter.

 

“Did you seriously think that for real? Oh my gosh, why must you be so cute? Christ!” He snorted hysterically. “No, I meant that he stares at people sort of expressionlessly, but also like he’s cross.”

 

“Oh. I suppose you’re right.”

 

“He _is_ right!” China butted in, squirming around uncomfortably where he sat poised in England’s lap. “This good-for-nothing child. Why’d you come dressed as food, huh? Why did so many people come dressed as food?”

 

“England is a vampire, America is Captain America, Macau is a… something, and our two hosts are a ghost and a footballer. You’re incorrect.”

 

“Yes but that leaves three people as food items, you silly bull. That’s a lot, considering how undesirable those things are.” He sniffed a tad condescendingly. “On Halloween, you’re meant to dress sexy, and none of _that_ is attractive.”

 

“I’m a sexy cup of noodles.” Hong Kong insisted. “A sexy cup of noodles that I sure don’t want to see any mainland Chinese consuming on _my_ trains.”

 

“Come on, that was years ago!” China groaned. “And you kicked up such a fuss about it that Singapore and the others are still laughing at us _today_.”

 

“Calm down, sweetums.” England stroked his hair soothingly. “Just leave him alone.”

 

“Hmph. Fine.” China flared his nostrils indignantly and settled down again.

 

“So,” Italy took the moment of silence as a golden opportunity and seized it. “Are you all having fun?”

 

Obligingly, the guests all said ‘yes’ in some way or another and there was an awkward pause before Scotland said cheekily, “Captain America is Irish.”

 

Subsequently, America started rebutting this furiously, even asking Canada for backup.

 

“Hold on.” Matthew said worriedly. “I’ll look it up, so don’t fight, okay?”

 

“Okay.” America replied begrudgingly, waiting as his brother produced a phone and keyed something in.

 

“…Alfred, you aren’t going to like this.”

 

“Oh, come on!”

 

“Aw yaaaas mate!” Scotland jeered. “There ya go, ya NED. One point to Scotland! Thanks, Mattie, mah wee star.”

 

“Meanwhile, Captain Britain and the Union Jack are both British.” England resounded, taking a polite sip of tea. “That’s _two_ points to the UK.”

 

“China,” America whined, turning to the Asian nation. “Please tell me you don’t have your own too.”

 

“Nope. Chinese people are only background superheroes.” China accepted England’s teacup and took a long gulp from it before passing it back. “No big-name ones.”

 

“Ha! We’re in the same boat then! You should date me instead, I’m more relatable.”

 

“You’re about as relatable to me as a _cha siu bao_ is to a lamp.” China stared at him blankly, and England guffawed.

 

Hong Kong interjected, “The _cha siu bao_ is a Cantonese dish, you mainlander.”

 

“I know I’m a mainlander, how is that even meant to be insulting?” China chortled high-handedly.

 

“Now, now guys, don’t start again.” Italy tried to calm them down.

 

“Exactly.” Macau reinforced his request, cuddling his boyfriend. “Don’t make hassle for the hosts, you will lose face.”

 

"Och aye, I guess Hong Kong _is_ awfy crabbit." Scotland laughed heartily."If ye cannae beat 'em, join 'em!"

"What? What did you just say about my baby?" China said, offended. "I'll sue you! I swear I'll sue you!"

 

"Apparently only China can trash-talk me." Hong Kong muttered dejectedly.

 

"That's sibling love! Sibling love!"

 

"Yeah, yeah. I guess I care about you too."

 

“See, Feliciano?” Prussia shrugged, pulling Italy close to him. “Let them have their violent, mean-spirited fun! If anything, it’s entertaining.”

 

“How mean.”

 

“Ah, I’m teasing, I’m teasing.” Prussia said hurriedly.

 

Italy paused before rising on his tiptoes to kiss Prussia gingerly, a soft smile curving against his lover’s lips.

 

“Ve~ Why do you have to be so cute?” He whispered, with a small giggle. “Happy Halloween, Gilbert.”

 

“H-happy Halloween to you too.” Prussia said, a tad embarrassed.

 

_Oh my god._

_Why does he have to be so freaking cute?_

**Author's Note:**

> Here are some explanations~~
> 
>  
> 
> The thing that China and Hong Kong were referencing was this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEComrx76uY  
> A mainlander ate cup noodles on the train (which you aren't allowed to do) and a huge fight broke out, which then turned into a heated political debate. The Hong Kongers did actually call the Mainlanders "Chinese locusts", so the Mainlanders retaliated with "British dogs".  
> It's true, a lot of tension rose because of it, but the rest of Asia took the chance to laugh at them both because, well, they saw it as kind of childish. Whether it was or wasn't, Singapore published a lot of caricatures on it, it was literally the biggest source of humour in the country for a few months. However, a lot of Hong Kongers are still bitter over it, hence the costume.
> 
> Translations and other notes :-
> 
> 吃粪= eat poop (actually, it's a swear, but let's just say poop here okay)  
> 大哥 = big brother  
> cha siu bao = a meat bun  
> cheongsam = type of Chinese dress  
> Irn Bru = Scottish fizzy drink. Surprisingly wildly adored by Scots I've seen a fistfight start over a can of this before  
> Bagged milk = in Canada, you can get milk in a literal bag. 
> 
> > anything Scotland says that's not standard English is, of course, slang. If you'd like translations for any particular word or phrase, feel free to ask!


End file.
